"DO NOT DRINK COFFEE UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES!"
Ugh, self from five weeks ago, you're such a drama queen. Maybe you couldn't handle the powerful effects of this morning staple. Maybe it kept you up at night with undulating anxiety, but I'm fine. I don't know what your problem was. Green tea? Really? Did you like that taste? Oh, I'm sure adding peppermint really helped. Haven't you read all the recent studies about how healthy coffee is. No? Well, basically the more you drink, the better. It's simple brain science. And, I'm pretty sure I read something about how antioxidants aren't the wonder-substances that everyone said they were. So, who knows if green tea is that great for you anyhow. Show me those studies, will you? Listen, I know you're prone to caffeine anxiety, but let's be honest, that's only when you really overdo it or drink Starbucks coffee. There's like 50 times as much caffeine in one of their lattes as a regular home-brewed cup. So, you should be fine as long as you stay away from Starbucks. And, if you do happen to go to Starbucks, just don't have a latte after noon. You'll be fine. Or, you can have a latte in the afternoon, but make it a decaf.
It's still early so I'm safe to have a third cup. I'll make it half-caf. I'm so productive! Coffee is amazing! We can thank all of the advances of the western world on coffee! It's what powers our industry and science and art! I don't even need to eat breakfast, and I never skip breakfast. Maybe I'll try bullet-proof coffee. I keep reading about it on paleo blogs. You whip grass-fed butter into your coffee. No one needs to eat ever again. We'll all be bullet-proof productivity machines, fueled by fat and caffeine. Fat smoothies. I'll create a new chain of Jamba Juices, but for bullet-proof coffee concoctions. The Fat Smoothie Shack, serving Butter Bombs. I can conquer the world! I think I'm going to start that novel. No, I'm going to clean out the fridge! No, wash the balcony and buy outdoor furniture and a barbecue and plan a party! Or maybe I'll watch that meth-addict in the grocery store Youtube clip again. Ha, she's hilarious, freaking out over what cereal to buy! If she could see herself!
Maybe I'll just go for a little run, work off this extra energy and then I'll get down to business and go crazy on my to-do list. Okay, okay, no, I'll just do some jumping jacks and then I'll be good to go. Goals, here I come!!
Do not drink coffee
What! Too funny. Okay, item 2:
Right, meditate. That's a good idea. Every day, twice a day, for 20 minutes. I'll just sit quietly and concentrate on my breath.
Sitting still. Quietly. Concentrating on my breath.
I don't feel so well. Getting a little queasy here. Yuck. I probably should have eaten a little something this morning. And, my heart's jumping around in my chest. That's not normal, right? I mean, that feels worse than regular anxiety right? Something might be seriously wrong. Okay, be here and now, here and now, here and now.
Great, so much for meditating. I'll go for walk instead, a walking meditation, in nature. That will calm me down. That's better. I just needed to move! That's the key. Still kind of hungry though. There's Starbucks. I'll just pop in and grab something to eat.
And, I'm kind of thirsty. A latte would hit the spot.